Wait A Minute.....That IS a Zebra!!!

This was a blog I wrote on Facebook, they day of my cancer diagnosis. Many things have happened since...still happening.

I have named my Blog "The Zebra Chronicle" because, medicine is a science. When young MD's are trained, there is a mantra that they learn....and I will give you the short version: "When you hear hoof beats behind you, don't expect to see a Zebra, it's probably just a horse." Well, in my case that mantra was proven wrong, mine in fact was a Zebra. It is my great hope that my blog can help somebody. God Bless!

I just got home from my surgeon's office. I feel numb. I am terrified. The surgeon says that it has been there for years, but now the tumor has gotten aggressive. I have cancer. I have Stage IIIb cancer. The tumor (Carcinoid) has wrapped itself around my right airway in my right lung. It has been there for years.

Next Friday, and I just realize that it will be Friday the 13th, I am having surgery. He is going to open me up and remove my right lung. However, if he gets in there and feels that removing my lung will kill me quicker, then he will close me back up and I will have to undergo chemo and radiation. They will also find out then if the cancer has metastasized anywhere else in my body. If it has, then I will undergo chemo and radiation anyways. Our hope is that he can remove the lung and that will be all the cancer there is. It is scary for it's been in there for so long and cancer likes to travel.

Over the years I have had doctors tell me that I had an enlarged hilar lymph node in my right lung. We now know that it was the tumor they were seeing all along. This makes me angry, sort of at myself that I didn't have it investigated further. But, I can't dwell on that.

I have to dwell on living. I will more than likely have to learn how to live with one lung and I know that is doable. Your right lung makes up for 55% of your breathing capacity. My left lung will grow 10 to 15% larger after the surgery. I may be on oxygen for a while and it will take my brain a bit to realize that my right lung is gone.

So, this is what I need from my friends and family. I need your prayers. I need you to tell me jokes. I need to laugh. I need you to hold me up the best that you can. Because....I NEED to live, I want to be here for my kids and my Jadabug. I love being a Gammy....and I want to be a Gammy for a very long time.

My surgery will be at Intermountain Medical Center here in Salt Lake City. My sugeon has never lost a patient from surgery, he has only lost one patient due to advance lung disease after the surgery. That's good to know. I really like him. He gave me his card and told me to call him if I had anymore questions, and that he would call me back. He has already called me twice...so I really like that about him. Please say a prayer for him as well. I thank God for giving him the knowledge to do what he does.

I know that God can heal me completely. I leave this in his hands.

Love & God Bless

Sam